Monday, February 1, 2016

Who Killed Love?


I had a best friend whose name was Love. Love was my favorite. I just enjoyed being with him. He would just keep me smiling all the time. In fact, it was hard to give attention to anyone else when he was around me. I just couldn't concentrate with him around, and even when he was not around, I was always in my dreams imagining him with me. His presence was so special. I think Love was more than just a best friend to me.

I used to feel my heart pace and my adrenalin sore when he was close. It was as if I saw him in everything and everyone around me. I used to talk to him day and night and it felt like I had still so much to talk to him about. I felt like sharing everything with him - my deepest secrets, my fantasies, my dreams, my desires, my life. One fine day, Love asked me out and I couldn't contain the happiness in my heart. I said "YES!!". It seemed like it was meant to be. After all we shared so much in common. It was hardly a coincidence. On the other hand, we were different from each other but in a very good way. He completed me and I completed him. We were each other's strength.

Life was not a bed of roses with Love but it felt like it was even in the most arduous circumstances. When Love held my hand, nothing was difficult, nothing was unattainable, nothing was impossible. I knew that if I had Love, the most difficult of the circumstances would just fly past me without affecting me because he would protect me in his warmth. Love was not only a partner, he was my father, my mother and even a friend at times. He never made me feel alone, even when I had no one near me. I just felt lucky and grateful to have Love in my life. He made all my achievements look bigger and my sorrows feel smaller. Even if I would do a tiny thing for him, he would make it seem like I did the world for him. This encouraged me to do more and more and more for him. I enjoyed giving him the best of me. Life was just wonderful with him.

Love had unique attributes, all of which I adored. He was silly and immature. He was crazy and hardly understanding. He was young and wild. He did not understand right from wrong. He was like a child who always got the best of everyone. He was not rational, nor diligent, nor calculative. He knew no boundaries, neither did he understand limits. He was restless and giving, sacrificing and cute, ambitionless and egoless, compassionate and strong, fun and demanding. However, Love always gave me more than he had. He surprised me every single time.

Love and I shared a beautiful relationship for years together. Then one fine day at a school reunion, Love went alone and met with some of his not-so-good-friends from childhood - Money, Maturity, Mind and Ego. I remember that these friends had a well known gang back in school known as 3ME. Everyone wanted to be like them - rich and famous. Love, however, didn't take a liking to them then. He thought they did not share his values in life. They were selfish. But having met them after so long at the reunion, Love didn't hesitate a bit to give them a compassionate hug. I think Love missed them nonetheless. I was keen to hear all the stories of the reunion and called Love a few times but Love didn't call me back that night. This was perhaps one of the really few times that we did not talk at night. I was a little worried but thought he might have had a long day so after calling him a few times, I slept off, waiting for him to call me back in the morning. It was a restless night for me. I kept wondering why he didn't call me. I was just worried I guess.

The next morning, the moment I woke up, I looked at my phone but I did not have any call or message from Love. I think he would have been sleeping over at one of his friends. I called him to check if he was awake but still no response. May be he spent the whole night talking to them so will wake up late. I thought of leaving him a message. I was clearly restless. I just wanted to talk to him. My mornings start best with his "good morning" calls. His voice just makes me feel so comforted. I missed him. Anyway, I got up and started working on the chores for the day.

It was mid-day. I still did not receive a call from him. I was very worried now so decided to call one of my friends "Understanding". He also attended the Alumni meet last night. I asked him if he knew where Love was. He said that Love vanished shortly after the party. No one knew where he went. He consoled me and asked me to keep patience. I just couldn't understand how was this possible. Love was so fun loving, why would he disappear from the party? Understanding then shared that 3MEs made fun of Love and then he was nowhere to be found.  He said Love left the party to go home.

I was perplexed, this was so unusual. Love didn't call or sms despite returning early on from the party. What was wrong? I quickly packed my bags to go see him at his house. He wasn't there.  Love was gone but why? I called understanding again and persisted that he share the entire sequence of events from last night. Understanding then told me the whole story - after the embarrassment last night, Love told Understanding to tell me that he wanted to work for 3ME overseas in order to be respected by everyone else in this world. But why did he not tell me directly? Understanding said Love was going to be busy as he would have to work very hard and would not have time for me. I think Love was hurt by the realities of life. I understood and waited for Love to call me back. Love called me a couple of times in a week from thereon. We talked but I could hardly share my feelings with him since he was so preoccupied with his work at 3ME's company. The calls became customary and it seems to me that Love had changed with the changing circumstances. It was important for Love to feel respected and so if this is what he wanted, I told myself, I should not disturb Love. I started instead talking to Understanding to fill the void as the distances between me and Love started growing. I started feeling lonely as I was used to the unlimited importance given to me by Love. It was never the same again! As Love became busier and my interest in talking to Understanding decreased, we started having fights. We didn't even feel like talking to each other. It felt as if 3ME were more important than me now.

One fine morning, as I was getting prepared to work, 3ME called me to tell me that Love was no more! I was aghast! How could that be? How did it happen? I was sure that the evil 3ME had done something to him. They were never nice to him in the first place. Love went to them to earn respect in the world but they were merciless and disrespectful to him. I know someone killed him and silenced him forever! I haven't been able to sleep ever since that night. Afterall, who killed my Love?