Mis(s) - understandings !!

Well, its been quite some time since I last penned a blog. But I promise that this one most of you can relate with. There are times in life, when you tell yourself that people don't understand you and to your surprise, the people whom you think don't understand you, feel you don't understand them !! That's when you feel like telling them, its not about you always.. its also about me.. but this leads you nowhere !

I tried decoding the feeling and also figured out a way in which we can go beyond the problem to the solution.

I think human beings are configured to think in a particular fashion. Our thinking has been programmed to find - What is in it for Me ? or Why Me ? or What about Me ?

Basically our entire world revolves around three words 'me', 'mine, 'myself'....and that's a fact no one can deny..

The moment we say someone doesn't understand me, somewhere deep down inside we are telling ourselves 'my needs and expectations are not being understood or acknowledged or catered to' !

There are a couple of ways to tackle this situation :

1. In the first method, you try and explain to the other person your expectations of him or her and detail out your expectations, so that they can act accordingly:

• If you are addressing a Man, please remember that they don't understand indirect connotations so try and be as direct and elaborate yet polite in this straight talk
• If you are addressing a female, chances are this option will not work, try the second option ! 

2. The second way to go about solving this issue would be to look inside. This one sounds difficult but works better than the first one, where you are trying to mold another individual to work according to your expectations. This option has other advantages like it almost works instantly to relieve you of your stress and burden of sadness.

The method is simple, its all about 'FOCUS'. Instead of thinking about 'ME', I think about 'YOU'. In a heated quarrel, try taking out two minutes to realize that maybe I should not talk about myself and focus on trying to understand you (without thinking about myself). This helps because you should replace me with you and this time around, you aren't solving a problem for yourself but the other person. Interestingly, we all like solving the problems of the world. We, as extra intelligent creatures of planet earth, love to provide unsolicited (and usually unnecessary) advice to our peers, friends and family on their problems. However, when it comes to our problems, we think the problem lies with everything extraneous to us but not us. So, like I said, the solution to the situation at hand would be to forget about yourself and focus on what we give to others. This technique really helps in understanding why others think we don't understand them. I am sure you are thinking.. "But what about me ?". Well, think about it, you are really doing this for yourself... by solving an issue, you are more peaceful internally and by forgetting about yourself, you are definitely more carefree and happy !

That's just a take on life, I am sure there are other ways... Explore your own way to inner tranquility !